yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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