I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize