He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
