Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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