I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
