Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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