I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
They should really pass out barf bags in church
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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