I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
