i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
