hotel room ftw
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
