You made me cry and you don't even care
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
