Say something about gay babies.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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