THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
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You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
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My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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