so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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