Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
