there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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