How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
