In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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