I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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