And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
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I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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