am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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