i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
