he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
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