fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
