I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
