I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize