She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
