i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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