Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
