and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
