I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
