i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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