Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
