So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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