I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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