Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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