I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
The struggles of a small town man whore
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
