I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
