When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
