perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
