Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
