In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
