he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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