As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Hippo gnu deer
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
