so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
