Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize