oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
