It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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