Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
