Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
