Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
