She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
