I have demons in me.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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