its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
