you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
