Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
