just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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