Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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