i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
