look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
