Ambien. No doubt about it.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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