waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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